There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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