who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Someone shattered a urinal.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
