then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize