Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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