she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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