so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
