i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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