Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
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