High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
