Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
