Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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