Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
