I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
