I'm gonna have a badass scar
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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