then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
