I never want to see another naked old woman again.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
