Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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