Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
