Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
