I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
