I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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