the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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