I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
