I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
