Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
