new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
