I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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