I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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