I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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