**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
