I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
