I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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