Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I can't put those talents on a resume
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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