Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
