U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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