I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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