id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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