love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize