If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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