If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
