Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
