There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
