she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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