Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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