you're like a bully in the Christmas story
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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