I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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