It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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