Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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