I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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