I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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