So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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