Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
