It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
