How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
