Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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