everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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