So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
