Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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