apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
