It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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