You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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