peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
