Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
